Can I Cry?

Because right now I am seriously on the verge of doing so. Someone spoke harshly to me on messenger a moment ago, called me shameless and a lot of other hurtful things. I might have just accepted it whole heartedly had it been true, but right now I just feel like bursting from anger and humiliation and pity on myself. Apparently, some people on earth just don't have manners.

Recently, and I haven't been telling you this for reasons I cannot say, I quit my job. Yep. The one I was telling you about, the 40-hour a week job. Okay, I might as well say it now. The pay was too low and promises of an increase was not as high and came waaayy later than expected. I felt like the work I rendered was way more than the pay I receive, and I don't like being treated unfairly, which is why I quit. With how the economy is shaping I cannot hold out anymore with what I was receiving from them.

So I went back to mTurk. I didn't want to, because the job is not stable. I didn't know when the HITs I am working for will cease appearing at the site. But the pay is great. In fact, just last week I was able to get a little less than $150 from it. So while I am still looking for another job, I Turk. The catch here is, you only get your earnings through two options: Amazon gift certificate or a U.S. bank account. I didn't want to work for Amazon and then spend all my money AT Amazon as well. That would be stupidity, right? And not very practical.

So I needed someone with a U.S. bank account to transfer my earnings to so that in turn, the person will send my money to me through Western Union. My mom knows this guy friend from California, and things were working great, he was very, very kind. Imagine, he gave me his bank details and his driver's license and other stuff that I need to be able to send money to his bank. He shouldered the taxes that has been incurred by the money I send him. And he told me he was okay, and was glad to help. After all, he and my mom have known each other for like forever.

UNTIL HIS WIFE came home. That was when the problems started. Her paranoia glazed in jealousy led her to say things to me which are hard to swallow for someone like me who isn't used to such harsh words, but I stayed. The reason because I really do not know anyone else like my mom's friend who would be so kind to me as him, and we really needed the money because the bills have piled up, mainly brought about by the very limited money flow from my last job.

He doesn't go online often, my mom's friend, and his wife uses his messenger account all the time, so I sometimes make the mistake of saying hi, hoping it was him on the line and not the wife. It turns out that I am not the luckiest woman on earth, because each and every time I am met by hostile words. I don't know how long I can take that. I don't know when he will go online. I don't know much about anything right now, save for the fact that the Internet bill is already due and the house bills are coming in a week and I see no money coming in. Fark. Why is the world unfair? You try your best to help other people and be nice, you try your best not to bitch about things, you try your best to make a living, in hopes that when you are good, the world will also be good to you. But I guess the world just doesn't work that way. Double fark.

Can I cry now?


14 comments:

madz said...

Know what? Crying is good, it makes our heart tender again. If not for crying, our hearts make become stiff and firm. So go on, cry!

Sara said...

Kaye
Its okay to cry, have a good cry, but take any hositle words to your heart. Your a great person and you dont deserve crap!!!

June & Sean said...

It does help! I hope you figure something out, and feel better soon!

~ "C" a.k.a. Wonder Wifey said...

I hate her!!!!! Those people are the kind that pushes my buttons! VVVVUWEEEESSSSEEETS!!!

Anyway, i want to make you feel good hehehe. can i have one of the sigs. i need two actually. i have been thinking of making you design them for me for a fee. let me know ha!

fedhz said...

Just cry, dear. she's just a very sad, uninspired, grumply old woman. sabi nga, misery loves company. kaya yan, nilalabas nya ung kakulangan nya sa iba.

redamethyst said...

may mga tao talagang ganyan. kakitid ng utak. hayz.

zoan said...

yes you can cry now... hayaan mo yang mga taong ganyan wala lang yan magandang idudulot sa yo kung iisipin mo ang sinasabi nya

Sherry said...

yeah I know how it feel of limited money flow

niko said...

ay hala that is soooo sad naman. so bad naman the wife to say harsh words to you.. hindi ba sila nag kkwentuhan ng mister nya??

niko said...

at sana naman nalinis nya na maduming utak nya.. hmmmmmp

niko said...

as in wla ka ginwa? at di ka nagpakilala?? anube.. hmmm anu na nangyari sa issue na to?? i hope somehow nagising si misis na mali iniisip nya..

niko said...

dpat nga proud sya kasi very helpful ng hubby nya.. plus u and her can be friends too. anube. pabigla bigla naman sya kng mang away.

Lisa said...

Gee, am I late to read this out?

I admit crying is good and refreshes all our emotions after wards. I am not used to harsh words either. It makes my ears hot and tingling. To think na hindi siya nagpapakain sa iyo, to hear those words.

Dear, If I were in your shoes, I'd give that woman a bit of her own salt. Tama ba? hehehe... Hindi pwedeng wala akong gawin in a layman's term, "resback". Then, I'll find a way to talk to her husband. Links, communications from friends nearest to their location.

Lisa said...

Andun na ako, out of jealousy kaya she have done it. Pero, hindi ba pwedeng, she should asked her husband about you? Else, she asked you in a civil and polite manner because we are human naman to understand.